Think Your Marriage Is Boring? Ask Yourself This Question Before You Point Any Fingers

If you stick it out in a longterm relationship, eventually you WILL hit a relationship rut.  

A period of time where you can't get happy, excited, or produce interesting conversation with your partner.

It's only natural to wonder, why has he changed, what is he doing wrong?  But according to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, the million dollar question should be directed at you, how are you showing up to the relationship?

3 Probing Questions To Start

1.  Are you happy?  Seriously, is this the life you dreamed of or are you stuck in the rat race called (societal pace) and feel like you can't slow down?  

2.  Are you excited when you wake up?  Do you love what you do with your time here on earth?  You can't get so far off track trying to keep up with the standards that you forget what's important.  Which includes blazing your own trail in life and doing what truly excites you.

3.  Are you going out, experiencing life, and bringing home fresh content to talk about?  Very often we get so busy that we forget how important it is to have a life outside of work, family, home.  But this is necessary to have new topics to talk about and a healthy balanced relationship.

If you said no to any of the three probing questions, you now have a place to start climbing out of the rut.  

Two is Better Than One

Share this article with your partner and tell him what you're going to change in order to keep his defenses low.  Hearing you take accountability for your own stuff will allow him to keep his ears open and think of ways he can change things up as well.

One More Factor To Consider

Weather.  If you live in a climate that has blustery, freezing days with long periods of no sun, you understand that WILL have an effect on you and your relationship.  Make sure you externalize external factors whenever possible rather than misplacing the blame.

For more relationship advice, check out Super Living.  A channel created to help you live a super life.  

Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love and How To Start A Mental Health Private Practice.  She owns a practice in New Prague, Minnesota where she lives with her husband, two kids, and two pups.